So. Safe to say the last post I did about how to be a fashion blogger made its way around the internet a little bit. A couple of people have actually referred to me as ‘that dude who did that blog post’ when I’ve been out and about. I figured I’d strike while the iron’s hot and do a follow-up – let’s hope it’s more Empire Strikes Back than Gremlins 2. Maybe if I do ok people will actually learn my name…or at least refer to me as ‘that dude who did those two blog posts’. Let’s go.
Yeah, no, I get what you’re trying to do. You spent a lot of money on that English Lit degree and you don’t get many chances to quote Ayn Rand in everyday conversation, but I’m not sure it really fits here. Did you take this on an analogue camera? No? You added that light leak later on, I see. Mmhmm, well, yes it does look ‘kinda cool and stuff’ but it means I can’t really…see the clothes.
This is totally a comment on postmodern society. By imitating the posture of a puppet, I’m attacking your bourgeois sensibility and the extent to which the mainstream fashion media dictates not just what people wear but also how they self identify.
No, actually, I’m just really gormless.
The name behind this probably needs a little explaining. It’s something every Nicholas Sparks heroine does at some point in the movie adaptation. Seriously, just imagine the advert – Breakeven by The Script plays while our heroine, let’s call her Betsy, is sitting on the bleachers writing in her notebook. She looks up and catches the eye of Zefron, who’s about to go to war or get amnesia or some stupid thing. Cue a bunch of shots of them getting really sweaty and making out in a beach shack before cutting to Betsy’s dad yelling at Zefron. He really fucking hates Zefron for no apparent reason. Then just before everything fades to black, Betsy’s spinning around in the rain, giggling and saying something inane like ‘the rain always reminds me to feel!’ Meanwhile, we’re all like ‘yeah, but seriously, why does your dad hate Zefron so much?’
The Rush Hour
There are two of me. I don’t know why. I genuinely wish I did.
By popular demand. Seriously, this has to stop. Trying to point your toes inwards like this while maintaining the illusion of ‘dat gap’ is going to give people serious health problems. But maybe that’s fine – judging from this picture, rickets is bang on trend. I once read something that talked said if you love someone you naturally point your feet towards them. If you want to read something into the fact that some fashion bloggers’ feet seem to be constantly pointing at themselves, then I won’t stop you.
GUYS, LOOK, I’M A GIRL AND I PLAY VIDEO GAMES. YEAH, I GAME. NO BIG DEAL. I ALSO GO ON REDDIT AND EAT STEAK. I REMEMBER PLAYING THE ORIGINAL DONKEY KONG IN ARCADES!
Kinda falls apart when you realise that the controller isn’t switched on, and when Donkey Kong was released they were two years old.