Project Lean, Part Three: CAN white men jump?

The thing is that white men maybe could have jumped but every white man that was born after that movie that was young enough and impressionable enough was like, “I give up on jumping…”

- Paul Ritchey

If you missed Part One and Part Two of this story, I can sum it up for you in two sentences – I challenged myself, with the help of Maximuscle, to bulk up and learn to dunk by Christmas. Then I got injured.

As you might expect, over two weeks out of the gym put a major dent in the whole thing…not to mention that I came home for Christmas and ate ALL of the food. Seriously, I think my mother might actually be the witch from Hansel and Gretel. But still, there remains a silver lining in this cloudy sky…

Until recently, no-one has ever told me that I look like I’ve been working out. Well, not without laughing or picking me up or throwing a peanut butter sandwich at my head afterwards. However, in the past couple of weeks, not one but TWO people have told me I’m looking bulkier. And I’m like 90% positive they weren’t just messing with me.

white men can't jump woody wesley
I guess I’m Woody Harrelson.

Can I dunk yet? Not even close. I can scrape the rim when I jump, which means I still have to add a few inches to my vertical before I can dunk. I’m better than I used to be, but not where I wanted to be by now. But that doesn’t mean the dream is over – my Hyperaggressors are still going strong and I still have plenty of protein shake fixin’s left over. Maybe I’ll be able to dunk by next Christmas…

In terms of gains, these are my new measurements:

Chest – 39″ (vs 38″ in October)
Biceps (untensed) – 10.5″ (vs 10″ in Oct)
Waist (at hips) – 35″ (vs 34″ in Oct)
Shoulders – 46″ (vs 43″ in Oct)
Thighs – 21″ (vs 20.5″ in Oct)

I have no idea how this would stack up against a professional weightlifter, or how badly a couple of weeks off affected my progress, but I’m still pretty happy with the results. Three inches on my shoulders and half an inch on my arms in two and a half months seems pretty good to me. Keen to improve even more in 2013, though I’m not looking forward to how busy my gym will be in January…

Think you could do better? Rude. But if you want to put your money where your mouth is (and potentially win £5,000…), you might like to check out this video about The Protein Project. I’ll be registering shortly. Game on.

4 comments

  1. Isa

    Haha, I love following your progress. You’re just as thrilled about adding inches as I am about losing them (which is never, but I imagine I would be). When you manage to dunk you should post a picture of your massive thighs to inspire the rest of us to go for a run or two and reward ourselves with a steak afterwards. Or I guess you could just reward yourself with some new shoes and treat the rest of us to the usual picture of those.

  2. Arash Mazinani

    Blake Griffin? Although I think his ethnic background is mixed. Good look on your progress to dunking, how tall are you?

    At a meagre 5’11 I never managed to dunk, I could grab the ring but getting the ‘ups’ to actually dunk it was always an issue. Seeing people like Gerald Green from the Pacers get their heard ABOVE the rim makes me cry!

    • stu

      Dude, still – pretty impressive. I’m 6’4″ and can barely graze the rim! I’m a bit of a swingman and seeing how high Wade gets makes me cry too…haha.