In case you haven’t been paying attention to my snarktastic tweets, I am not a fan of the ’50 random facts about me’ tag. This is for two reasons. First, MISNOMER – most of the facts mentioned are about as ‘random’ a choice as picking the best out of the seventy three outfit photos you took earlier that day to post on your blog. George Takei recently posted a great photo on Facebook, noting that most people only share what they consider to be the best of themselves on social media. I’m noticing a lot of people doing the same with this tag. Second, I can only think of one thing about myself that’s remotely interesting – at the age of 13, I took a MENSA test that revealed I have an IQ of 161…technically making me a child genius.

Still, I like the idea of doing something that lets readers know a little more about you. Although #WIMH posts have been around for a while, they rarely go into much depth. The last one I saw was pretty much like ‘This is the blusher in my bag. I use it to make my face red.’ So, I decided to tip the contents of my bag onto my dining table and briefly cover why each item is in there.

Vaseline, hand moisturiser & caffeine eye roll-on:
Although I spend a fair amount of time faffing around in the morning, my beauty regime when I’m on the go is so low maintenance I’m not even sure you can use the word regime to describe it. These are pretty much the only essentials I need.

Hat:
This is my lucky hat. I don’t remember how I got it and I don’t remember what happened to make me think it’s lucky. I like to think I’m better off not questioning either of those things.

Hand sanitiser & moist towelettes:
A few years ago, I was diagnosed as having OCD. While my particular breed of compulsions mostly affects stuff in my head (checking I’ve set alarms and that I’ve emptied my locker at the gym are two biggies) and how I view future events, I do like to make sure my hands are clean whenever I can.

On a few occasions at restaurants, fellow diners have asked where I got my moist towelette from. There is no moment quite as awkward as having to tell someone you brought it from home. On the plus side, ‘moist towelette’ is really fun to say.

Books:
While I enjoyed Don DeLillo’s Underworld, at over 800 pages it’s hardly a book to undertake lightly. I struggle with books that have a lot of characters (probably a sign of Asperger’s or something…), but neither that nor the disjointed plot could take away from the beautiful flowing prose.

On the other end of the spectrum? John Green’s The Fault in our Stars. Once the exclusive property of meek, indoors-y Tumblr kids (I ought to know, I was one), John Green has exploded into the mainstream with his latest effort. While there’s no doubt that it’s very nicely put together, not to mention pretty moving (it may have made me cry on a train, hence Tissues), I can’t help but feel that the teenagers in the book talk more like teenagers who wish they were in a John Green novel than actual teenagers. Still, a wonderful book.

Moleskines:
When I was a boy, the following paragraph came to me in a dream -

‘As we came over the hill, the neon rainbow of the city stung my eyes so much that they watered. The focus of the lurid scene was the white shaft of light emerging from the tip of The Luxor, scanning the skies for silver Spitfires and falling angels. Holy shit, I remember thinking, the searchlights of hell are looking for a back way into Heaven, and I’m about to sell my soul to the devil.’

To this day, it’s probably one of the better things I’ve written, and I didn’t even come up with it myself. Feverish and squinting, I wrote these lines in a Moleskine notebook at 3AM. Since then, you’ll rarely find me without one.

Protein bar:
Because one day, ONE DAY, I’ll pack enough muscle on to stop looking like a stick insect.

Sunglasses:
In case of nuclear explosions.

Alibi:
I got sent a crate of this to blog about it. It does seem to lessen the impact of hangovers which, when you’re not 18 anymore and have chores to do at the weekend, can only be a good thing.

Jack Daniel’s:
You never know when Ke$ha is going to show up with a toothbrush. Also, because sometimes Jack is all that will do.

Filofax:
I sometimes get laughed at for how resistant I am to use online or iPhone calendars. Despite being pretty tech savvy in almost every other aspect of my life, this is the one thing I am unwilling to budge on.

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So, I hope that gave you a bit of insight into what makes me tick. Though I’m not on some huge quest to create a ‘tag’ of my own, I think the above says more about me than the fact that I’m an only child or that I’ve been to 13 U.S states. But what do the contents of your bag say about you?