Category: Society

Strike up the Brand

If the price of a Ralph Lauren shirt falls at Littlewoods but it doesn’t have a Polo player on it, does anybody make a sound?’ – Me. Just now.

Beats by Dr Dre de-branded Selfridges
De-branded Beats by Dr Dre headphones, courtesy of Selfridges

For as long as I can remember, I’ve worn branded clothing. A quick glimpse around my house makes it pretty clear why – from my Dad’s shirt wardrobe (yes, he has a wardrobe just for shirts…) containing 41 Ralph Lauren shirts and counting, to my Mum’s…well, I struggle to think of anything my mother owns that ISN’T covered in some Cath Kidston print or other, it’s pretty clear how I ended up like this. But why…?

A lot of trend whores claim they buy labels because the products are better made. Well, that may be the case sometimes, but I’m pretty sure that a few years ago ALL of us spent a night out listening to a friend complaining about the sleeves of his heather grey All Saints jumper fraying even though he’d only worn it once. Once upon a time I worked in a department store, and they had a whole rail devoted to those faulty jumpers. Equally, there are people who have gone to great lengths to figure out which high end products have high street equivalents that are made in the same factory. The rumour that if you go to ‘the right market’ in China you’ll find knockoffs that are actually better made than genuine products has been kicking around for years.

You might claim that people cling to brands and products because they define their identity. But, if that really is the case, why are such a high percentage of teenagers still fascinated by Abercrombie & Fitch even though you can’t walk down Regent Street for more than 30 seconds without seeing an overweight Persian man wearing one of their polo shirts? And how can Dr Martens simultaneously be the calling card of both crusty punks and pallid bloggers? Even if the latter DO claim to love The Clash…who, let’s be honest, weren’t all that great, and are regarded in many circles as a pre-Cowell manufactured boy band.

Ragged Priest biker jacket pvc
Ragged Priest? Topshop? Your guess is as good as mine! (It’s RP.)

Plenty of writing has been done on branding (like Naomi Klein’s No Logo), but unless you’re an academic you probably don’t have time to read it. Also worth observing that Klein walks a really dangerous line of kinda being a fox but also sometimes looking a bit like my mother. My own stance on the whole thing is that brands permeate modern culture to such a degree that it’s impossible to avoid them or even define them for more than five minutes – Nike is trying to look like Timberland, Reebok is trying to look like Nike, Vans are trying to look like Rockport, and it’s hard to know what anything ‘stands for’ anymore. Topshop, one of the biggest retailers on the planet, has a section devoted to a brand that used to spend its days splattering charity shop denim with bleach but whose stuff is now starting to look more and more like…Topshop’s.

When Selfridges got in touch to tell me about their ‘Quiet Shop’, I was definitely interested. A thousand design students have removed the words from a can of Coca Cola and smugly been like ‘ahh, I bet you still know what this can is! That’s the power of branding!!!’, but (aside from a brief flirtation with the idea of ‘stealth wealth‘ <– Warning: Daily Mail link! If you’re not down with that, just listen to Gucci Gucci by Kreayshawn as the message is pretty much the same) I can’t think of any fashion brands that have ever gone as far as to remove their branding. In fact, in most cases the opposite is true – the Abercrombie moose and Ralph Lauren’s polo horse seem to have been getting bigger and bigger in the past few years, and I’m expecting them to have an apocalyptic battle a la Megashark vs Giant Octopus before long.

But it’s exactly what a number of brands, including Levi’s, Clinique and Heinz are doing for Selfridges’ No Noise campaign. Selfridges aims to encourage customers “to proactively seek out moments of peace and tranquility in a world that bombards us with information and stimulation.” I certainly like the idea of removing the focus from garish packaging and focusing on a product’s quality and function – I admit that I’ve previously found Beats a bit garish and showy, but this toned down cream edition is very sleek. It also sounds a lot better than my previous setup…which, admittedly, alternated between standard iPod earphones and a set of Sennheisers that only played through one ear. But still.

I expect that the campaign will actually be pretty divisive – I wonder what extent the cachet that brands have stems from their logo and, indeed, their very name. Will people be willing to part with their money for something that doesn’t have that? Just as with another brand involved, I think this is one you’ll either love or hate…

Marmite de-branded Selfridges No Noise

Why is no-one buying the Air Jordan V?

Air Jordan V Fire Red

Hello there. Long time no speak. I wish I had a story of adventure and excitement to explain why I haven’t blogged for almost two weeks. Unfortunately, I don’t. I’ve been pretty busy with work but time just seemed to get away from me. Anyway, I’m back now, and I’m sure you all managed just fine without me.

Remember that scene in Jingle All The Way where Arnie is trying to buy a Turboman action figure for his son (who ended up becoming Darth Vader…) on Christmas Eve and all the shop assistants just stand there laughing at him? This is pretty much what I experienced when I tried to buy a pair of Air Jordan IVs a couple of days after their release date. A quick confession: despite the fact that I’m a fashion blogger, I really don’t spend that much on clothes. The reason I do so few OOTD posts is that I only seem to wear about four outfits on a regular basis – you’d all get bored of them very quickly. Then, the one time I was prepared to spend a pretty sizeable sum of money on a pair of shoes, I couldn’t find anywhere that would take my money. But all was not lost – I eventually managed to cop the last pair of Air Jordan IVs at any Foot Locker in London. I know this because the guy who served me told me so, like he wanted to give me a medal or something. Someone in the queue actually congratulated me on my purchase, and I’m pretty sure I heard someone applauding on my way out…

Air Jordan IV bred NikeBut back to the point at hand. The other day I was shopping and thought I’d see if anywhere had any Air Jordan Vs in stock. Not because I was willing to splash £125 on ANOTHER pair of extravagant trainers (at least not yet anyway…), you understand, just because I was curious. Size? Had them in stock. Niketown? Had a ton of them. Foot Locker? Practically had a wall of them. So what’s the deal? Well, some industry experts (ok, ok it’s just me) think comparatively slow sales of the Air Jordan V might be due to the resurfacing of this picture -

Sports Illustrated Your Sneakers or Your LifeEven though the above picture was featured on the cover of SI way back in 1990, lots of Instagram commenters on Nice Kicks’ repost of the image thought it was much more recent than that. Perhaps that’s because the issue the cover highlights hasn’t gone away – although most of them don’t receive a lot of mainstream news coverage, killings over sneakers (especially Air Jordans) still happen pretty regularly. Is this a clue as to why AJ5s aren’t moving as quickly as a lot of releases? Although there’s no denying that the AJ4 is pretty distinctive, they can look like an old pair of Etnies if you drape your trousers in a particular way. Contrast this with the Air Jordan V and the distinctive red shark teeth on its midsole. However you wear your trousers, there’s no hiding that. Is it possible that people are avoiding this iconic pair of shoes because of fear?

Attitudes towards shoejacking online range from bravado – ‘I’d kill a [expletive] before I let him take my Js’ – to sombre; one Nice Kicks commenter told of an African American man jumping an Asian boy outside of a shoe shop, beating him senseless and taking his sneakers. He highlighted the fact that none of the ten plus people passing by came to his aid. It’s bad enough that we live in a world where people get mugged for mobile phones and wallets, but the fact that some people value a £100 pair of shoes more than somebody’s life is truly sad. Not to mention pretty damn scary.

Beauty (Bloggers) & the Beast.

aledsavedlatin tumblr keen outdoorsmen

In case you don’t have eyes, it snowed this week. And with the snow came the things that inevitably accompany it – people moaning about the snow on Twitter, people moaning about people moaning about the snow on Twitter on Twitter, flurries (pun, lol) of Instagram pics out of people’s windows and fashion blogger-y pictures like this.

fashion blogger snow picture
Overlooking the fact that the above outfit is OUTSTANDINGLY well co-ordinated (a particular love of mine), let’s just consider how impractical it is for the snow. The answer is very. Let’s face it, she’s going to last two minutes in those heels before ending up falling over and ripping that flimsy looking sweater.

Of course, it’s not just when it snows that fashion and fashion blogs walk the line between the sublime and the ridiculous. Take this guy -

handsome model moody guy
Yes, he looks very moody and striking in a ‘quiffy Zac Efron in a world where gyms don’t exist’ sort of way, but where did he get that chair from? Aside from the fact that it looks like Kurt Angle should be breaking it over The Rock’s head, remember that he’s had to bring that chair from home. Imagine the looks he got on the bus. I bet the local hoodlums call him ‘chair dude’ now.

fashion blogger walking
And we can’t forget poses like this one – bloggers taking photos of themselves ‘walking’ (satirised in this old post of mine) is…really weird. It’s like in Peep Show when Gog catches Jez pretending to write.

But let’s get a little deeper. Poses like the one above generally remind me of classic paparazzi shots, which implies to me a subconscious yearning to be in the public eye. That’s what a blog is, right? But casting oneself as the perpetually visible artist is a pretty dangerous thing to do, because with celebrity comes huge pressure to be perfect. I was talking to Lily Pebbles and Ella Gregory (Names? Dropped.) about blogging the other day, and the amount of pressure they put on themselves sounds far more intense than my ‘might sit down and write something today’ approach…I think I even heard the phrase ‘content schedule’ being used. Meanwhile I was sat there picking dried pizza off my shirt.

At some point, without anyone really being aware of it, it seems like it was decided that cupcakes, Mulberry Alexas and meatLIQUOR are the pinnacle of perfection and that everything else isn’t worth blogging about. You know what I say to that? I say, pfft. Some of the most prolific blogs and features in the past couple of years were so successful precisely because they dared to break the mould. Look no further than Advanced Style (street style for over 50s) and Style Rookie (a fashion blog started by a twelve year old girl) for evidence of this. Not to mention that Chinese man who started modelling his granddaughter’s clothing.

It probably shouldn’t surprise me that blogging is getting surreal – we live in a world where airbrushing, size zero models and overly posed photos are ‘normal’ and permeate the mainstream media. It makes sense that bloggers would mimic this, because it’s what we’re exposed to on a daily basis. Yes, it’s difficult to be ‘different’ in a world where everything seems to be the same. But it’s worth the fight.

Spotlight on: OBEY

Fall Out Boy, circa 2001
Fall Out Boy, circa 2001

I first listened to Fall Out Boy over a decade ago and fell in love with their stripped back, raw ‘four guys in a garage’ sound. I saw them play a couple of times in rundown venues in Newcastle and Scotland. At the latter, Pete Wentz hung upside down from a piece of scaffolding before falling on top of me, and we screamed the lyrics to Saturday into his microphone. If I was to see them now, should they ever end their hiatus, it would probably be in an arena. They would play newer songs that feature trumpets, orchestras and, just occasionally, guest vocals from Lil Wayne. Bouncers and bodyguards would probably make sure that Pete Wentz and I were never less than 100 feet apart.

Fall Out Boyband
Fall Out Boyband

I feel the same about Fall Out Boy that I do about Obey. A few years ago, before every Tom, Dick and Harry Styles-alike thought pairing an Obey cap with Nike Blazers and a Topman hoodie meant they had #swag, the brand enjoyed a stint as one of the de facto choices of underground streetwear. I still like Fall Out Boy, and I still like Obey, but there’s no doubt that mainstream success has resulted in both becoming sophisticated and refined, almost beyond recognition.

shep fairey obey propaganda sell out

I’ve been wanting to write something about Obey for a while, and I was spurred into doing so by this statement from its creator, Shep Fairey -

OBEY COMMERCE

I’ve been hearing some cries of “SELLOUT!” over the various products for sale. Anyone who has not taken on a project of this ambition and complexity or owned their own business is really in no position to be judgmental. However, people are judgmental by nature, so here is what I have to say: The uncompromised experiment is definitely not over. Because the campaign exists in harmony with, not contrary to, conspicuous consumption (the giant project could not exist within a social climate that was not susceptible to consumption catalyzed by image repetition).

The Giant campaign simply pokes fun at the process by teasing the consumer with propaganda for a product which is merely more propaganda for the campaign; very reflexive,.. the propaganda and the product are the same. The ultimate success of giant is commercial embrace because this demonstrates that the unaware consumer, as opposed to the hipster in on the joke, has been subversively indoctrinated. I’m trying to achieve as large scale a coup as possible with an absurd icon that should never have made it this far. Only if the campaign reaches a level of visibility and interaction that exceeds the underground “cool” ceiling will it have a chance to make a profound statement about the societal tendency to jump on the bandwagon. The dialogue the project can start about the process of imagery absorption is the most important aspect; this dialogue is most meaningful if the giant campaign becomes pervasive enough to become a trend psychology driven feeding frenzy like some silly crap such as the Rubik’s cube or the Spice Girls.

Backlash is an unavoidable side-effect. Anyway, I put all the profits back into more stickers and posters for the street, because that is my love, not money. People have different reasons for liking GIANT and I can understand people not wanting to see it leave the underground niche it has enjoyed for so many years. All I can say is that even in the commercial applications of OBEY/GIANT I am attempting to retain the rebellious spirit of the street project (every t-shirt comes with a mini-stencil and manifesto).
Sincerely,
Shepard Fairey

shep fairey obey retrospective

Coming from an academic background, with a focus on subversion, I’m fascinated by Fairey’s statement. It recalls Andy Warhol’s argument that ‘being good in business is the most fascinating kind of art. Making money is art and working is art and business is the best art.’ Fairey and Warhol both make a good point – one need only look as far as songs by Rick Ross or television shows like Keeping up with the Kardashians (but plz don’t make me) to see that wealth and celebrity lifestyles are not only perpetuated by, but in some cases actively created by the notable expenditure of that wealth. Let me elaborate…

Countless hip hop moguls have made it to the top by rapping about the holy trinity of bitches, money and bling, even though it’s doubtful that they’ve ever seen much of the second or third. Similarly, according to what felt like a million newspaper articles, magazine spreads and blog posts, Kim Kardashian’s wedding to Kris Humphries reportedly cost $10 million. However, because of the publicity associated with the wedding, much of the spread came for free…that is, the publicity that was due to the exorbitant cost of the day. Vicious circle, much? The whole thing reminds me of an old joke -

Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son:
Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : “I will choose my own bride!”
Jack: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”
Son : “Well, in that case…”

Next, Jack approaches Bill Gates:
Jack: “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry!”
Jack: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case…”

Finally, Jack goes to see the president of the World Bank:
Jack: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president. “
President: “But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!”
Jack: ”But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”
President: “Ah, in that case…”

shep fairey love grenade

During my MA, we spent countless seminars debating whether or not Andy Warhol’s whole career was an exercise in irony, whether he had sold out or whether it was a case of ‘all of the above’. We never reached a conclusion. I foresee that the same thing will happen to Shep Fairey and because of this, among other things, I see Fairey as a new Warhol. I have no doubt that some of the skateboarders who grew up repping Fairey when he was starting his Giant project feel kinda down about the whole thing, but I’m also sure that they spend much of their time making tapes (or Youtube videos, I guess) to catch the attention of potential sponsors. You can have the most powerful and interesting message in the world, but if you never leave the basement to tell the masses it’s arguably just a waste. There’s a reason everyone broke the first rule of Fight Club.

Since designing the Obama HOPE poster, Fairey has appeared on The Simpsons and The Colbert Report, and designed the cover for TIME Magazine’s 2011 Person of the Year issue. Obey Propaganda Co clothing is now being sold in Urban Outfitters. Andre the Giant is still dead.

Obey has a posse Andre the Giant

Bad Company

A couple of days ago I received a text from a fashion blogger I’d recently met an event. “There’s a column about male fashion bloggers in Company this month,” it read. I was silently pleased at this recognition of diversity, until I read the rest of the message. “It says blogging is a women’s thing.” I was taken aback – surely my friend must have gotten the wrong idea. Company couldn’t endorse such a shallow and restrictive belief…could they? When I read the article for myself I came to find that, actually, yes they could.

The article, written by Pandora Sykes, briefly mentions a few male ‘big guns’ in the world of fashion blogging, only to brush them aside and assert that female bloggers have ‘a higher profile’ than their male counterparts. ‘For years, men have been the ones closing financial deals and creating billion dollar ad campaigns, but now it’s our turn,’ she says. ‘It cannot be denied that from a feminist angle, this is a triumph of sorts.’ I disagree. Feminism is about equality and treating a person the same way, regardless of their gender. To belittle the efforts of men in the blogosphere and boast that women are ‘winning’ is no triumph.

I’d like to briefly quote Martin Luther King – ‘I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.’ King understood that the past should be left in the past as, while it will always inform it, it should not and must not define the present. To capitalise the first letters of the words men and women defies this notion and is, in my opinion, absurd. While ‘Men’ may have been creating billion dollar ad campaigns for years I, a man, have not. For the same reason, I am disturbed by Ellie Mae O’Hagan’s assertion this week that men cannot be the victim of institutionalised sexism. Here’s why.

It would be foolish not to recognise that, as a straight white middle class male, I enjoy certain privileges – strangers don’t comment on my choice of partner, I am rarely (though it does happen sometimes, and no, it isn’t flattering) subjected to ‘compliments’ from people on the street and I’m not aware of the police ever regarding me suspiciously, even when I am wearing a hoodie. However, I am an ‘outsider’ in at least three out of four of the social groups I consider myself as belonging to. While the majority people at screamo gigs may look just like me, most fashion bloggers don’t. Nor do most basketball players. Nor do most hip hop fans. Every time I go to a fashion event, a basketball court or a hip hop gig, I risk sexual or racial discrimination. I fail to see how anyone who claims to be a campaigner for equality can’t realise that.

To return to the article, one blogger is quoted as saying for a man ‘to overtly celebrate and share his image? That just wouldn’t be, well, manly, would it?’ This is almost offensive as the article’s opening statement, which states that ‘it is a truth universally acknowledged that women like to talk about fashion.’ How, in 2012, people can still think it’s acceptable to make such sweeping statements about gender, I don’t know. However, there are still plenty of examples of it going around at the moment – take, for example, the ASDA Christmas advert that states that ‘behind every great Christmas, there’s mum.’ This slogan manages to simultaneously insult all mothers, single fathers and families that divide the Christmas workload equally.

The other day I was embarrassed and encouraged in equals measures when Maria, of Miss Drifted Snow White, told me about how I’ve inspired her boyfriend, who blogs as The Blogging Bloke. ‘You’ve shown him that it’s ok to be vocal with his opinions and that you can still do that and make it, whether you’re a guy or girl.’ It’s with that sentence ringing in my ears that I write this blog post – I wish I knew a better way to soothe all the bitterness around race and gender that still exists, but writing some words about it is the best I can do.

The article ends with the following musing – ‘You could argue that makes us no better than the sexist male controllers of Mad Men-era advertising, but surely it’s our turn to gloat.’ First of all, congratulations for acknowledging that rather than working to end sexism, you’re choosing to perpetuate it. Secondly, goodbye. I’ve long been a fan of Company, and I thought that they understood the evolving role of bloggers in the fashion world. Clearly that doesn’t apply to me, so I won’t be buying any more issues.

Fashion: Not Just For Girls

Unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve probably seen Brad Pitt as the new face of Chanel No. 5. If not, here it is:

The negative response the campaign has had from a lot of fashion bloggers and industry pundits doesn’t really surprise me. Responses tend to fall into one of two camps – ‘lol he looks like a tramp’ and ‘OMG, I LUFF BRAD’. In my opinion, both of these responses completely miss the point of the advert. I keep swinging between two responses of my own, and until all the constituent parts of the commercial are released I doubt I’ll be able to.

Theory number one – It’s worth stating that the second part of the new Chanel No. 5 movie (embedded above) still contains a ‘Chanel girl’ – positing Brad Pitt as the ‘star’ of the first advert then having him appear less in the second, his presence occasionally reduced to a mere voiceover, is indicative of the fact that the Chanel girl overshadows everything, even Brad Pitt. If I’m on the right track, the next part of the commercial will presumably feature even less of Pitt, perhaps leaving only his voice.

Theory number two (and the one I prefer) – To those who claim that Brad Pitt isn’t ‘a fit’ with Chanel, it should be pointed out that a big part of Chanel’s history is stripping away extravagant and overwrought aesthetics. Pitt’s masculine ‘au naturale’ look is a perfect contrast to Nicole Kidman’s OTT ‘I’m a daaancer’ advert. In this way, Pitt’s individualism and self confidence embody a masculine reworking of the Chanel girl. Pitt must have been aware that the advert would kick up controversy and parodies (…inevitable), but he did it anyway. Though the $7 million cheque in his pocket probably helped.

I’ve previously written about my experiences as a straight man in fashion (that post is probably still my favourite thing I’ve written on this blog), but recently I’ve noticed that things are changing. Pitt being chosen as the face of Chanel No. 5. David Beckham appearing on the cover of Elle Magazine. Articles appearing in this season’s Shortlist MODE supplement about men flirting with extravagant fashion.  All of these are indicative of the fact that the voice of straight men in fashion is getting louder.

I’ve long has issues with the word ‘metrosexual’ – it’s insulting to men, both straight and gay. It designates fashion and grooming as being inherently feminine, thus associating homosexuality with being somehow girly or sissy. It also implies that men with an interest in fashion are a bit ‘wrong’ and can’t really be straight, so they need to be labelled something else. This is incredibly damaging to young straight men who are interested in fashion in that it can lead them to question their sexuality and identity. Weirdly, the show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy actually went a long way towards dispelling myths about homosexuality – the contrast between Carson and Jai’s tendency towards effeminacy and Thom, Ted and Kyan’s fairly masculine natures served as a reminder that homosexuality and femininity aren’t mutually exclusive. Excusing the odd joke about checking the straight guys out in the shower, the Queer Eye guys were never really that ‘gay’ – they’re just well groomed, stylishly dressed men who happen to sleep with men.

Something that appears in most fashion magazines that really frustrates me is the ever present ‘ask the bloke’ section. The name and aim may vary from mag to mag, but there is inevitably a column in which men offer up their opinion on trends only to be picked apart by industry experts. The whole experience is not only incongruous – Page 4: Laugh at what these ridiculous men said about mullet skirts!! Page 6: How to keep a man interested by dressing slutty!! – but also incredibly distasteful. There have been a couple of occasions where people have made remarks to me like ‘interesting opinion, for a guy’. I’m not one to get on a soapbox, but if wolf whistling at women and comments about how women don’t understand the offside rule aren’t ok, then neither are articles about hot guys we wish had fashion blogs (ok, ok, not quite a fair comparison, plus the article is much less shallow that the title suggests) or the assumption that a man’s opinion on fashion is less valuable than a woman’s.

But lately, the tide has been turning. I’ve done a couple of freelance styling projects (no mega-brands, just some chilled out advice) recently and was told that I was picked not only because of my honesty and frankness, but also because I have a solid opinion on most trends. This is something a lot of fashion bloggers seem to lack – they sit on the fence until a consensus has been reached about whether or not something is ‘in’ (usually relying on Company Magazine to declare it so) before they play their hand. As anyone who reads this blog knows, I’ll always happily put my cards on the table. ‘Do you think that’s because I’m a guy?’ I asked a friend I was helping to pick out an outfit. ‘No,’ she replied. ‘I think it’s because you have good instincts, and I trust them.’ Then I made a joke about us not being on an after-school special and we went back to chugging white wine spritzers.

Fashion is becoming more ‘unisex’ in other ways too – I was recently at the My Celebrity Fashion relaunch in Hoxton, and got quite a shock when I left. ‘Let me grab you one of the men’s gift bags!’ chirped a smiley PR lady. A MEN’S GIFT BAG. Granted, the only difference is that it had a tie in as well as the other stuff, but still! Since then I’ve been to a couple of events where they’ve had gift bags for the men in attendance as well as the women, but kudos to MCF for being the first one that I encountered.

Of course, revolution isn’t just about attitudes; even clothes themselves are changing to blur the lines of gender in fashion. Take, for example, Karl Lagerfeld’s recent capsule collection for Selfridges, differentiated only by fit. Other than that, both the guys’ and girls’ versions are identical -

Maybe that’s the revelation here. I frequently joke that I’m the only straight male fashion blogger in the world, but the world is changing. Teenage boys all over the world are opening copies of Vogue (which might just as easily be their own as their girlfriend’s, boyfriend’s or mother’s), think ‘that’s a beautiful dress’ and not feel the need to question their identity or their sexuality. What a time that will be.

The Fashion Chromosome.

 There is a tide in the affairs of menswear.

There are people who think men’s fashion never changes. They’re wrong. But only just. It simply changes at a glacial pace. Women seem to inherit new fashion icons constantly – one week it’s Beyonce, the next it’s Scarlett Johansson. With each seemingly arbitrary selection comes an entire heritage to be adapted and interpreted.

For example – a girl who wants to be like Beyonce suddenly has to know about hip hop, have an urban boyfriend and understand how to make Afro hair do something other than ‘the Lionel Richie’. No sooner have they got that in hand than Company are running articles on how to steal Jessie J’s look. So it’s back to New Look to pick up a skull ring and some upside cruxifix leggings.

Contrast this with male fashion – two of the biggest male fashion icons of the past 50 years are James Dean and Joey Essex, two people I never thought I’d get to mention in a sentence together. But if you squint at a picture of James Dean, maybe make the jeans a bit skinnier and the jacket a bit snazzier, it doesn’t look all that different from Joey Essex. There are a million other examples out there that are just like this. Look at guys like Dallas Green and the dude from Bon Iver – the outfits they wear wouldn’t look out of place on a member of ‘70s punk band D.O.A. (or a lumberjack…), but a lot of men today are still sticking with that look.

Does this mean that men are inherently more inclined to stick with ‘classic’ looks? Not necessarily. It’s my opinion that this gender difference is, more or less, due to two intertwining reasons.

Numero uno. Generally speaking, men are incredibly homosocial creatures. They crave the approval of other men more than they’d care to admit. And this goes for every substrata of dudes – just as juiceheads will add another 20kg to the barbell when there are other guys around, comic book geeks will suppress the fact that, actually, they kinda like Robin. Unlike women, who (according to reruns of Will & Grace, anyway) usually dissect their peers’ outfits after they’ve left the room, men will generally gang up on weaker members of the pack because of their own insecurities or their desire to assert their ‘alphaness’. Anyone who’s been on the receiving end of a ‘what the hell are you wearing?!’ barrage from their male friends knows exactly why David Beckham cut out wearing that sarong. Even if Victoria still insists it looked good on him.

Secondly, the implications of the social structure outlined above have (to a significant degree) shaped how men and women shop. High street stores aimed primarily at women are by and large trend-based; Topshop, H&M and the like specialise in releasing new collections on a regular basis. With the process being very hit or miss, this sometimes results in clothes that are only a few months old ending up with a price tag bearing so many reductions that it might as well read ‘£social suicide’. Meanwhile, ‘male brands’ like APC, Obey and Vans rarely have reductions because they know that guys will spend high on ‘safe’ products that will last them for years.

But what about the exceptions? The fact that Topman exists complicates the model I’ve posited above. Brands like Topman and Urban Outfitters rely on absolute saturation. Somehow, whether it’s a girl with 5,000 Twitter followers saying she digs guys with feather earrings or some guy in a post hardcore band starting to wear wolf sweaters all the time, an item or a concept becomes popular and it becomes the backbone of (seemingly) every product in the store. It happened with jean shorts a year or two ago and, right on cue, it’s happened with tribal prints this summer. Exhibit A –

Of course, things aren’t quite as black and white as I’m making them out to be – designers and brands like Ozwald Boateng and Commes Des Garcons are mixing things up with statement pieces for men that are bold, experimental and totally…unsafe. I know it will take a LONG time for this bravery to filter down to high street menswear, but I really hope it does.

Post-Apocolympics.

It took most Londoners a while to warm to the Olympics. More weeks than I care to remember were spent bemoaning debts, security concerns, travel problems and all those other signs of impending doom that LOCOG were bringing down on us. But then something happened. When the much-feared multicultural, multi-lingual swarm of locusts finally descended, we all realised that they weren’t locusts at all. They were people. Smiling, happy people who were genuinely excited to be in London. From here, things only got better. The opening ceremony was pretty cool (although I must have missed the Harry Potter movie in which Julie Andrews kicked Voldemort’s ass), we won some medals, we suddenly had no qualms about gathering in pubs and living rooms to collectively cheer on plucky individuals we’d never really heard of a month ago.

A confession – I’m not in love with London. I’ve lived here for just over a year and I frequently find it frantic, caustic and unfriendly. And I’m not the only one – I recently read an article warning visiting Americans to make a note of any friendly pubs they found, as they’re far from the norm. A friend from Newcastle recently returned from an ill-fated trip down south, vowing never to return again (she definitely won’t succeed – she’d miss me too much). Don’t get me wrong; I’ve met some wonderful, interesting, welcoming people in the past twelve months that I’m honoured just to have stood in the same room as. But that doesn’t change the fact that, at its core, the city is depressed. Except that the London I’ve seen in the past sixteen days isn’t the one I’m used to.

Not too many years back, I had a bit of an episode. My personality has an obsessive compulsive element that threatened to disrupt my life by pulling my mind into a depressive corner, which isn’t the easiest place to escape from. Though I now consider myself to be ‘fine’ (aside from getting irritated when people think having their desk organised is ‘LYKE SO OCD’) I feel much more attuned to the emotions of others and can tell pretty easily when people are in a dark place. A huge percentage of Londoners seem to be suffering from a chronic version of what I suffered from. The feeling that nothing is ever good enough, that nagging feeling that everything is bound to go wrong, is written off as British modesty or self deprecation. Self-medication with drugs and alcohol is downplayed as part of the ‘work hard, play hard’ dialectic. Introversion, unwillingness to make eye contact with strangers and a compulsive need to be forever wearing headphones (iPod, therefore iAm…) all fall under the heading of the ‘urban experience’. The undercurrents of anger and despair, that erupted during last year’s London riots, have merely been glossed over.

In the past two weeks, I have seen a change. Team GB, the Olympic spirit, whatever you want to call it, has brought us together. That may sound clichéd, but it’s the truth. Epic rivalries between nations have displaced the smaller scale arguments that plague day-to-day life, and they are good natured and respectful instead of petty and acidic. Youngsters have seen that, whatever background they’re from, they can make good. And no, I don’t believe that’s just wishful thinking – with the latest study estimating that 90% of Brits watched at least some of the Olympics, there must have been a positive impact. Sure, all of the bad stuff is still there – recession, the daily grind, the fifteen things the Daily Mail found today that give you cancer – but everyone’s been more willing to just…make the best of things.


Just because the Olympics is over doesn’t mean that we have to go back to the way that things were. True, we’re off to a bad start with that Closing Ceremony (I think we set the world record for most whingy tweets per minute last night), but it doesn’t have to be the end. If we can hang on to that thing that makes us want to be friends with strangers rather than ignoring them and that sense that, actually, everything probably WILL be ok in the end then…well, the rest is easy.

Westfield London is still running their #IWASTHERE competition until the end of this week. If you have any inspiring London 2012 stories to share, check out the deets HERE and tweet them HERE. You could win £25,000 for your trouble, which is a pretty spicy meatball. Even if you don’t win it’s still worth a go; might make you feel all warm and fuzzy.

Fifty Shades of Vacay.

The other morning, upon opening the fridge to find an Xbox controller, it became abundantly clear that I’m in need of a holiday. I’ve managed to grab a couple of days at my parents’ home this week, in part due to some medical check-ups (I’m fine, by the way, you aren’t getting rid of me that easy), and it really reminded me how restorative slowing down for a few days can be. But I know what it’s like – we’re all busy, plugged in all the time, feeling like the world will end if we don’t answer that email that just pinged. Not to mention, if you’re anything like me, money is probably a little tight to be taking weeks off work. So I started thinking about alternative ways to get into the holiday mindset, and this is what I came up with…

Mini-Break
Ok, kind of cheating. But even if you can only spare a couple of days, you can still take a vacation. Being a Northern boy, I was raised on trips to the Lake District. I still love it there, and thanks to global warming it doesn’t even rain there every day anymore. I knew all those CFCs were good for something, thanks Liverpool. If you want to check out the lakes, one of the top hotels in Windemere is Storrs Hall. Go on, try to be stressed while you’re checking out this view -

Can’t be done.

Mental Break
Not to be confused with mental breakdown, which is where we’re headed if we keep obsessing about answering emails thirty seconds after we receive them. I know it’s tough for our generation to do but making the decision to unplug for half an hour and NOT tweet every semi-amusing thought we have, or whinge about TFL, can be seriously good for the mind (c.f. the recent study that found spending too much time on social networks can kill creativity, as it encourages consumption rather than creation). As far as I know, the best way to do this is with a book. I read this one twice in the space of a month, and I can’t recommend that you read it enough -

Self Break
No, I’m not suggesting you break your own arm, so please don’t sue NSLL (we have no money anyway…). Just…try something different, whether it’s going to some bar that looks cool or trying a new look. So much of our lives is made up of routine that deviating from it, even slightly, can be a huge relief. Which is kind of depressing. But whatever. My next self break is definitely going to be recreating this outfit from the Commes Des Garçons A/W ’12 lookbook. I probably won’t go around rocking the ‘I AM A BOMB’ look like the dude below though.

If anyone else has any ideas on how to ‘get away’, feel free to send them my way. I could definitely use them…before I try to put the water bill in the toaster again.

You can’t spell Twitter without wit.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a confession to make. I’m a total twelitist. I hate 90% of the people on Twitter. From the Bieber trends to moronic tweets like ‘The #OlympicsOpeningCeremony2012 music is Danny Boy, that’s a song that I’m aware of!!!’, which make me want to set up parody accounts like @EarMan (which just tweets people all day saying stuff like like ’As someone with ears, that tweet was not necessary.’), but frankly I don’t have the bandwidth.

My modest proposal? A task-force. But not just any task-force. A Twitter Wanker Avoidance Task-Force. TWAT, for short. ‘Why do we need something like this?’ I hear you scream. Exhibit A -

While it’s no secret that I’m not Tom Daley’s biggest fan (he looks like a big tanned baby), even I winced as I read @Rileyy_69′s Twitter tirade. And his insincere apology. And the tirade that followed that. While it’s difficult to believe that someone would tweet something so moronic and thoughtless, it’s even more difficult to believe that they would just…KEEP GOING. No way he’d have passed the TWAT test. To (mis)quote Christopher Hitchens: ‘Everyone has tweets in them, which is exactly where I think they should, in most cases, remain.’

Then again, even if we implement my idea there’ll inevitably be dickheads who slip through the cracks. Just look at driving. A test from a stern, matronly woman or a man in a blazer with a paedo ‘stache (let’s face it, it was only ever one of these options) should ensure that there are no oiks on the road. But it doesn’t. There they are, sat in their shitty souped up Corsa in the car park of TGI Friday’s, pooling collective IQ points with their spotty minions to figure out how many months of benefits they need to save up to afford a new spoiler for said shitty souped up Corsa.

Now, for the denouement. If Twitter winds me up so much, why do I stay? Because of the other 10%. You lot are bloody brilliant, and…well, I’d miss you too much.

Kiss kiss.