Stop saying manorexia.

This post is written in response to this Daily Mail article and comments from WIWT founder Poppy Dinsey. I hope my tone doesn’t come across as too combative towards her, because I lav the Poppy. As for the mainstream reaction towards anorexia? All of the combative.

EDIT: To be clear, Poppy did not use and has never used the term ‘manorexia’; that’s something I came across in the Mail. Not sure whether or not it originated with them.

manorexia debate YSL

Of the caustic terms that permeate contemporary debate, ‘manorexia’ is one of the worst. Anyone who’s read this blog is probably already aware of my disdain for the term ‘metrosexual’ (read why here), but manorexia is ten times worse. Barring a couple of isolated examples (postnatal depression springs to mind), I fail to see what gender, race or class have to do with mental illness.

I’ve never really had any issues with my weight, but I can’t imagine it being easy for men to deal with having anorexia. It’s traditionally seen as a feminine illness, to the extent that the ‘ideal’ anorexic body conflicts directly with the traditional ‘masculine’ body, i.e. broad shoulders, muscular arms etc. In this way, anorexia not only others you from your gender, but also from your sexuality. I say this as weakness and limp wristed-ness has been historically (not to mention ridiculously) associated with homosexuality.

To go one step further and label their *version* of the disease as manorexia feels seems to completely trivialise it – it reeks of punny newspaper headlines and the idea that ‘it’s like what girls get, only different’. It’s on par with labelling someone’s depression as ‘a bit of a downer’, or calling sexual deviance ‘just a phase’.

Although newspaper columns, Twitter and website articles are awash with women, and men (myself included), highlighting the fact that the trend of calling curvy women ‘real women’ is not only ludicrous, all too many social media users seemed to misinterpret Poppy Dinsey when she tweeted the following:

Poppy Dinsey manorexia YSL tweet
Despite being directed at the fashion house rather than the model, Dinsey’s tweet led to many of her followers commenting that the model looks ‘disgusting’, something Poppy later protested about. She has since tweeted me remarking that she spends a lot of time arguing that all women are real women. It’s worth noting that my response is mostly motivated by the Daily Mail’s response to the story (link at the top of this post) and the issue in more general terms.

Yes, the fashion industry has traditionally been dominated by underweight models. However, does that mean that their presence should be outlawed? Once upon a time, religion was compulsory – does that mean that everyone should now be Atheist? Homosexuality was once illegal and regarded as a mental illness, does that mean everyone should be gay now? Jumping from one pole to another is never a sensible way to handle something, because it always comes across as disingenuous. Not to mention how impractical implementing either of the above would be…Admittedly, these debates aren’t quite the same thing, as there is a medical risk associated with being clinically underweight.

However, my problem with the ‘real women’ debate and the ‘banorexia’ (a term I think I’ve just invented) movement is that it insists that skinny people aren’t ‘real’. By excluding size zero models, the mainstream media creates the idea that anorexia/thinness is wrong. We’re already seeing this force the culture to move underground. I hesitate to use the term culture to describe a group of people who have what is still widely believed to be a mental illness, but that’s what’s happening – ‘pro ana’ blogs, tweeters and Instagram accounts collate anorexic imagery and intensify it by making it the only point of focus, which is far less healthy than a media that features all different body shapes.

female body shapes

Please don’t take from this post that I’m pro-anorexia, because that’s not the case. What I am tetchy about is labelling a skinny male model ‘shockingly’ thin and ‘disgusting’, especially given that we know nothing about his mental state or eating habits, because it drives a stake between people (who may already be on their way to looking like this boy) and normality. Whether their thinness is due to extreme dieting or their genes, they may feel that they have no choice but to embrace an increasingly toxic underground movement that promotes anorexia as aspirational and beautiful.

Of course, the big comeback to this is that allowing images of extremely thin people in the media distorts young people’s perception of beauty. While that may be true for a tiny minority who already have a predisposition to eatings disorders, it simply isn’t true for 99% of people. I had the following debate with Poppy on Facebook, which I think bears repeating here -

Screen shot 2013-01-21 at 20.14.43
Evidently, I am part of that 99% – yes, pictures of Taylor Lautner, Zac Efron and all those dudes on Abercrombie bags motivate me to hit the gym harder, but never to the extent that I’d start taking steroids or gulping down raw eggs every morning. I’m sure the same is true of most women – they might wish their face looked a bit more like Emma Stone’s, or their rack looked a bit more like Beyoncé’s, but they probably just…well, get on with things because sometimes eating half a tub of Ben and Jerry’s is more fun than going to the gym. Something I know from experience.

brad pitt fight club body
One day, Brad. One day.

So what will help that 1%, the people who are susceptible to images promoting extreme thinness? It’s definitely not labelling them ‘freaks’ or ‘disgusting’. Once we know for sure that someone’s emaciated state is caused by crash dieting, it’s time to raise the idea that they may have a problem. But just as you wouldn’t tell someone with depression to cheer up, this can’t be as simple as saying ‘eat something!’ As for exactly what the answer is, I’m not sure. If I did, I’d probably be writing this piece somewhere a lot cooler than my blog.

Beauty (Bloggers) & the Beast.

aledsavedlatin tumblr keen outdoorsmen

In case you don’t have eyes, it snowed this week. And with the snow came the things that inevitably accompany it – people moaning about the snow on Twitter, people moaning about people moaning about the snow on Twitter on Twitter, flurries (pun, lol) of Instagram pics out of people’s windows and fashion blogger-y pictures like this.

fashion blogger snow picture
Overlooking the fact that the above outfit is OUTSTANDINGLY well co-ordinated (a particular love of mine), let’s just consider how impractical it is for the snow. The answer is very. Let’s face it, she’s going to last two minutes in those heels before ending up falling over and ripping that flimsy looking sweater.

Of course, it’s not just when it snows that fashion and fashion blogs walk the line between the sublime and the ridiculous. Take this guy -

handsome model moody guy
Yes, he looks very moody and striking in a ‘quiffy Zac Efron in a world where gyms don’t exist’ sort of way, but where did he get that chair from? Aside from the fact that it looks like Kurt Angle should be breaking it over The Rock’s head, remember that he’s had to bring that chair from home. Imagine the looks he got on the bus. I bet the local hoodlums call him ‘chair dude’ now.

fashion blogger walking
And we can’t forget poses like this one – bloggers taking photos of themselves ‘walking’ (satirised in this old post of mine) is…really weird. It’s like in Peep Show when Gog catches Jez pretending to write.

But let’s get a little deeper. Poses like the one above generally remind me of classic paparazzi shots, which implies to me a subconscious yearning to be in the public eye. That’s what a blog is, right? But casting oneself as the perpetually visible artist is a pretty dangerous thing to do, because with celebrity comes huge pressure to be perfect. I was talking to Lily Pebbles and Ella Gregory (Names? Dropped.) about blogging the other day, and the amount of pressure they put on themselves sounds far more intense than my ‘might sit down and write something today’ approach…I think I even heard the phrase ‘content schedule’ being used. Meanwhile I was sat there picking dried pizza off my shirt.

At some point, without anyone really being aware of it, it seems like it was decided that cupcakes, Mulberry Alexas and meatLIQUOR are the pinnacle of perfection and that everything else isn’t worth blogging about. You know what I say to that? I say, pfft. Some of the most prolific blogs and features in the past couple of years were so successful precisely because they dared to break the mould. Look no further than Advanced Style (street style for over 50s) and Style Rookie (a fashion blog started by a twelve year old girl) for evidence of this. Not to mention that Chinese man who started modelling his granddaughter’s clothing.

It probably shouldn’t surprise me that blogging is getting surreal – we live in a world where airbrushing, size zero models and overly posed photos are ‘normal’ and permeate the mainstream media. It makes sense that bloggers would mimic this, because it’s what we’re exposed to on a daily basis. Yes, it’s difficult to be ‘different’ in a world where everything seems to be the same. But it’s worth the fight.

Three trends to kick start S/S ’13

After briefly mentioning a few predictions for 2013 in my last post, I checked out some of the new collections at Selfridges and noticed a few more surfacing. SO, I thought I’d post this – S/S ’13 menswear for dummies.

Coloured Suits

Paul Smith S/S 2013 red suit

While a lot of people have focused on the (perhaps ill advised, given we don’t have the same climate as that of Miami Vice…) return of city shorts, another strong trend to come off the catwalks is the coloured suit. The Paul Smith number above is pretty sharp, and this really is an example of a trend that’s come out of nowhere – as recently as Summer 2012, menswear writers were still being majorly critical of coloured suits.

Givenchy white suit S/S 2013

If bright colours aren’t your thing, Givenchy showed this beautiful white suit pretty similar to what I imagine well dressed angels wearing.

Print Attack

map print backpack

Last Autumn, I fell in love with (and took a creepy stalkery picture of) this guy’s backpack. I asked him where he got it, but he turned out to be a Chinese tourist who didn’t speak a word of English, so I never found out where it was from. Still, he was definitely ahead of the curve – from graphic to digital to optical, prints are inescapable this spring. I was a huge admirer of Mary Katrantzou’s shenanigans last year, so I’m please to see that us guys are getting a chance to play this year.

Vivienne Westwood printed suit S/S 2013

Just check out this head to toe print takeover by Vivienne Westwood for inspiration.

Stripes

No, not the sailor kind – J.W. Anderson has already done the nautical thing to death so much so that he’s having to shake things up by making dresses for men. Stripes take on a whole new, modern feel for S/S 2013.

Ralph Lauren stripes spring summer 2013

I dig this Ralph Lauren number, which seems to draw inspiration from all kinds of places, from pirate to old school sports jerseys (Google tells me that orange and blue are the colours of the Florida Gators, so GO GATORS!) to a smart casual Frenchman. Plus, the model kinda looks like Brad Pitt and Keith Lemon’s lovechild. If you’re not in the mood to go so formal, check this Shore Leave t-shirt from Urban Outfitters. Or the one below, which is on sale for £10. (You’re welcome.)

Shore Leave contrasting navy stripe

So there you have it; some more ideas for S/S 2013. One final thought? If you know where that Chinese dude’s backpack is from, please tell me. Otherwise, sayonara.

January Sales Haul

Eastpak camo Air Jordan IV denim jacket sheepskin
There are at least two things wrong with the title of this blog post. The first is that only two out of the five items listed were on sale, which I guess means I must have pretty expensive taste. The second is that (brace yourselves) I hate the world haul – when it became the norm for fashion bloggers to commandeer a word that was last used by pirates, I’m not sure. Not to mention the fact that several dictionaries indicate that the word has particularly close ties to describing ‘fish or illegal loot’. So yeah, not a fan. But ‘January Sales Haul’ makes for a much snappier blog title than ‘Stuff I bought, some of which was on sale and some of which was full price, that I’d like to post about because I think you guys will like them’.

Denim Jacket
When I was first starting out in the world of #fbloggers, I wrote something about finding the perfect denim jacket. I’m sad to say that I’ve since outgrown my ‘go to’ denim jacket, so have been on the hunt for a new one for a while. Although I’ve always liked the idea of sherpa linings, they remind me a little too much of Hyde from That ’70s Show, played by Danny Masterson and pictured here on the left. Judging from the picture below, taken last year, Masterson clearly became a little too attached to ’70s fashion during his stint on the show…

Danny Masterson Hyde That '70s Show 2012

The issue I have with sherpa linings is that they tend to make you look like a big, shapeless sheep. While I’m sometimes willing to sacrifice fashion for warmth/comfort (just ask anyone who caught a glimpse of me over the Christmas holidays), it didn’t feel like the right choice with Spring supposedly just around the corner. I was thrilled to find my new jacket in Urban Outfitters’ Urban Renewal section – the sheepskin collar offers some differentiation from the thousands of washed out Levi’s jacket lemmings and doesn’t mean sacrificing the jacket’s lines. Less thrilled about the £65 price tag, but you gotta do what ya gotta do.

Gant Rugger Shirt
Despite some uncharacteristically questionable service from Gant the other day, since remedied by an apology from the company and the receipt of TWO replacement pairs of socks, I couldn’t resist splashing some of the gift card I received for Christmas on this handloom Oxford shirt. I already have a ton of check shirts with colourways made of red, white and blue. Managed to mix it up with some green this time. As with every Gant Rugger shirt I’ve bought, it’s incredibly soft and has that ‘oh my God, I want to live in this shirt’ quality to it.

New Look Denim Shirt
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you may remember that last year I posted a preview of New Look’s S/S ’13 menswear line. In that post, I mentioned a denim shirt with some subtle Aztec touches. I stand by my assertion that tribal prints are over, but I think that this shirt gets around that – the detailing is more reminiscent of Native Americana than the gaudy prints that dominated last season. Pictured below? A/W ’13, ‘duh.

Native Americana

Air Jordan IVs
This marks the only time I’ve ever really treated myself on a pair of shoes. I think I’m probably going to do a separate unboxing post about them to keep the sneakerheads happy.

Eastpak Backpack
When I found this at a third off the usual price buying it was an easy decision, as I’ve wanted an Eastpak backpack for a while. Lord knows I’ve had enough exposure to them at skramz and hardcore gigs. Although Eastpak produce some pretty crazy designs…

Eastpak Napoleon BMX Vans
…I was mindful of Oscar Wilde’s advice - ’Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.’ I figured that although camo is a bit of a trend, it will also last me a long time without looking dated. And since the bag came with a 30 year guarantee, that can only be a good thing. It will appear again soon in a ‘What’s in my bag?’ post…

Can you reach any conclusion about my ‘~ trend predictions ~’ for 2013 based on this wardrobe refresh? Lots of denim. I suppose it’s also pretty notable that I’m stepping away from really prominent, flashy branding on clothing and making more of a statement through accessories and shoes instead. As practically fluorescent snapbacks and epilepsy inducing prints become more popular on the high street, I envision my own style becoming more stripped back and ‘classic’. It may be worth pointing out that street style shots from LCM have shown a lot of other guys doing just that. But apparently not the girls…

LCM LFW street style 2013

GIVEAWAY: The Man Box

menswear giveaway competition reiss

I’ve seen a lot of blog giveaways before, but I’ve never really seen any for men. I thought I saw one once, but it turned out to be for an all female spa. In hindsight, probably for the best that I didn’t win – I don’t think I’d fit in with my Spongebob towel. So, when Ladbrokes came to me with some man stuff to do a giveaway, I decided to say yes. However, that’s not to say that you ladies aren’t welcome to apply to – maybe you’re really good girlfriends or maybe you want to flog the hamper on eBay (sad face). Or maybe you have a beard…I won’t judge.

Anyway, the contents are as follows -

  • Esquire Magazine’s Handbook of Style
  • Reiss pocket square
  • The Bluebeard’s Revenge shaving foam and brush
  • Love Hearts, yay!

If you fancy a flutter, you can find some more Ladbrokes deals here. Just don’t bet £20 that Janet Devlin will win X Factor and spend three days locked in your room pouting when they get voted out. Like some of us did.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Project Lean, Part Three: CAN white men jump?

The thing is that white men maybe could have jumped but every white man that was born after that movie that was young enough and impressionable enough was like, “I give up on jumping…”

- Paul Ritchey

If you missed Part One and Part Two of this story, I can sum it up for you in two sentences – I challenged myself, with the help of Maximuscle, to bulk up and learn to dunk by Christmas. Then I got injured.

As you might expect, over two weeks out of the gym put a major dent in the whole thing…not to mention that I came home for Christmas and ate ALL of the food. Seriously, I think my mother might actually be the witch from Hansel and Gretel. But still, there remains a silver lining in this cloudy sky…

Until recently, no-one has ever told me that I look like I’ve been working out. Well, not without laughing or picking me up or throwing a peanut butter sandwich at my head afterwards. However, in the past couple of weeks, not one but TWO people have told me I’m looking bulkier. And I’m like 90% positive they weren’t just messing with me.

white men can't jump woody wesley
I guess I’m Woody Harrelson.

Can I dunk yet? Not even close. I can scrape the rim when I jump, which means I still have to add a few inches to my vertical before I can dunk. I’m better than I used to be, but not where I wanted to be by now. But that doesn’t mean the dream is over – my Hyperaggressors are still going strong and I still have plenty of protein shake fixin’s left over. Maybe I’ll be able to dunk by next Christmas…

In terms of gains, these are my new measurements:

Chest – 39″ (vs 38″ in October)
Biceps (untensed) – 10.5″ (vs 10″ in Oct)
Waist (at hips) – 35″ (vs 34″ in Oct)
Shoulders – 46″ (vs 43″ in Oct)
Thighs – 21″ (vs 20.5″ in Oct)

I have no idea how this would stack up against a professional weightlifter, or how badly a couple of weeks off affected my progress, but I’m still pretty happy with the results. Three inches on my shoulders and half an inch on my arms in two and a half months seems pretty good to me. Keen to improve even more in 2013, though I’m not looking forward to how busy my gym will be in January…

Think you could do better? Rude. But if you want to put your money where your mouth is (and potentially win £5,000…), you might like to check out this video about The Protein Project. I’ll be registering shortly. Game on.

Sweater Envy

I’m going to let you in on a secret – I’m a pretty bad blogger…not because I think my own blog is bad (though you may disagree…), but because I hardly ever read other people’s blogs. I’m making a renewed effort in the new year (no, I’m going as far as to use ‘the r word’) to change this, and seek out some up and coming blogs that I can mention. Although I find 90% of Lookbook posts to be pretty absurd, to the extent that I recently created a satirical side project called WTF LOOKBOOK, the site is a nice way to get a snapshot of someone’s style. My hypothesis? If you find someone’s style interesting, you’ll probably enjoy their blog. That’s how I found By Otto.

Galaxy Sweater by Aloha From Deer
Galaxy Sweater by Aloha From Deer

Otto’s blog is, in some respects, like a bizarro version of NSLL – the focus is very much on the visual and he tends to use 10 words where I would use 1,000. Living in rural Denmark may not make for the most exciting stories, but it sure makes for some beautiful photography.

It’s also hard to believe that Otto is only 18 – he’s far better dressed than most of the guys I hang around with, and they’re all in their late twenties. I’m not one to jump to conclusions, but it’s tempting to read the environment of Lookbook as indicative of the future of fashion blogging. At the time of writing, four of the top twenty looks were from guys. Of those four, three were aged 18 or under. I’ve already joked that the time will come when fashion blogging isn’t seen as girly or effeminate, and that it will become more common amongst both sexes. With more and more teenagers making an effort to look their best, and document those looks on sites like Instagram, Lookbook and Tumblr, it appears that time may not be so far away.

Credit - By Otto
Credit – By Otto

If you’re wondering where Otto’s galaxy sweater (which is very Black Milk for men) is from, the answer is Aloha From Deer. The bad news? AFD is based in Poland and it would cost over £50 to ship one here. Looks like I’ll be going galaxy sweater-less for a little longer…unless anyone wants to find me a suitable UK alternative?

Spotlight on: OBEY

Fall Out Boy, circa 2001
Fall Out Boy, circa 2001

I first listened to Fall Out Boy over a decade ago and fell in love with their stripped back, raw ‘four guys in a garage’ sound. I saw them play a couple of times in rundown venues in Newcastle and Scotland. At the latter, Pete Wentz hung upside down from a piece of scaffolding before falling on top of me, and we screamed the lyrics to Saturday into his microphone. If I was to see them now, should they ever end their hiatus, it would probably be in an arena. They would play newer songs that feature trumpets, orchestras and, just occasionally, guest vocals from Lil Wayne. Bouncers and bodyguards would probably make sure that Pete Wentz and I were never less than 100 feet apart.

Fall Out Boyband
Fall Out Boyband

I feel the same about Fall Out Boy that I do about Obey. A few years ago, before every Tom, Dick and Harry Styles-alike thought pairing an Obey cap with Nike Blazers and a Topman hoodie meant they had #swag, the brand enjoyed a stint as one of the de facto choices of underground streetwear. I still like Fall Out Boy, and I still like Obey, but there’s no doubt that mainstream success has resulted in both becoming sophisticated and refined, almost beyond recognition.

shep fairey obey propaganda sell out

I’ve been wanting to write something about Obey for a while, and I was spurred into doing so by this statement from its creator, Shep Fairey -

OBEY COMMERCE

I’ve been hearing some cries of “SELLOUT!” over the various products for sale. Anyone who has not taken on a project of this ambition and complexity or owned their own business is really in no position to be judgmental. However, people are judgmental by nature, so here is what I have to say: The uncompromised experiment is definitely not over. Because the campaign exists in harmony with, not contrary to, conspicuous consumption (the giant project could not exist within a social climate that was not susceptible to consumption catalyzed by image repetition).

The Giant campaign simply pokes fun at the process by teasing the consumer with propaganda for a product which is merely more propaganda for the campaign; very reflexive,.. the propaganda and the product are the same. The ultimate success of giant is commercial embrace because this demonstrates that the unaware consumer, as opposed to the hipster in on the joke, has been subversively indoctrinated. I’m trying to achieve as large scale a coup as possible with an absurd icon that should never have made it this far. Only if the campaign reaches a level of visibility and interaction that exceeds the underground “cool” ceiling will it have a chance to make a profound statement about the societal tendency to jump on the bandwagon. The dialogue the project can start about the process of imagery absorption is the most important aspect; this dialogue is most meaningful if the giant campaign becomes pervasive enough to become a trend psychology driven feeding frenzy like some silly crap such as the Rubik’s cube or the Spice Girls.

Backlash is an unavoidable side-effect. Anyway, I put all the profits back into more stickers and posters for the street, because that is my love, not money. People have different reasons for liking GIANT and I can understand people not wanting to see it leave the underground niche it has enjoyed for so many years. All I can say is that even in the commercial applications of OBEY/GIANT I am attempting to retain the rebellious spirit of the street project (every t-shirt comes with a mini-stencil and manifesto).
Sincerely,
Shepard Fairey

shep fairey obey retrospective

Coming from an academic background, with a focus on subversion, I’m fascinated by Fairey’s statement. It recalls Andy Warhol’s argument that ‘being good in business is the most fascinating kind of art. Making money is art and working is art and business is the best art.’ Fairey and Warhol both make a good point – one need only look as far as songs by Rick Ross or television shows like Keeping up with the Kardashians (but plz don’t make me) to see that wealth and celebrity lifestyles are not only perpetuated by, but in some cases actively created by the notable expenditure of that wealth. Let me elaborate…

Countless hip hop moguls have made it to the top by rapping about the holy trinity of bitches, money and bling, even though it’s doubtful that they’ve ever seen much of the second or third. Similarly, according to what felt like a million newspaper articles, magazine spreads and blog posts, Kim Kardashian’s wedding to Kris Humphries reportedly cost $10 million. However, because of the publicity associated with the wedding, much of the spread came for free…that is, the publicity that was due to the exorbitant cost of the day. Vicious circle, much? The whole thing reminds me of an old joke -

Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son:
Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : “I will choose my own bride!”
Jack: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”
Son : “Well, in that case…”

Next, Jack approaches Bill Gates:
Jack: “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry!”
Jack: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case…”

Finally, Jack goes to see the president of the World Bank:
Jack: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president. “
President: “But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!”
Jack: ”But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”
President: “Ah, in that case…”

shep fairey love grenade

During my MA, we spent countless seminars debating whether or not Andy Warhol’s whole career was an exercise in irony, whether he had sold out or whether it was a case of ‘all of the above’. We never reached a conclusion. I foresee that the same thing will happen to Shep Fairey and because of this, among other things, I see Fairey as a new Warhol. I have no doubt that some of the skateboarders who grew up repping Fairey when he was starting his Giant project feel kinda down about the whole thing, but I’m also sure that they spend much of their time making tapes (or Youtube videos, I guess) to catch the attention of potential sponsors. You can have the most powerful and interesting message in the world, but if you never leave the basement to tell the masses it’s arguably just a waste. There’s a reason everyone broke the first rule of Fight Club.

Since designing the Obama HOPE poster, Fairey has appeared on The Simpsons and The Colbert Report, and designed the cover for TIME Magazine’s 2011 Person of the Year issue. Obey Propaganda Co clothing is now being sold in Urban Outfitters. Andre the Giant is still dead.

Obey has a posse Andre the Giant

Winter Essentials

I wrote this as a guest post for a friend and (shock horror) I didn’t melt afterwards, even though there’s no controversy or anything. So I thought I’d post it here…

Channelling my inner Dallas Green...
Channelling my inner Dallas Green…

Woolly hat
Sure, kids at hardcore gigs (the same guys who wear Eastpak backpacks and have plugs in their ears the size of Oreos) may wear them all year round but the woolly hat comes into its own in the Winter. Pro tip: I use a pair of fake glasses to keep it at the perfect height and stop it slipping down over my eyes. The downside is that it makes me look like…a douchebag wearing fake glasses.

Grey hoodie
Yes, probably down to the fact that I spent most of my teenage years aspiring to be like One Tree Hill’s Lucas Scott, but I still think a washed out, supersoft grey hoodie takes some beating.

Shirt jacket
Jackets bore me. There, I said it. I’m so not down with dropping £100+ on a huge jacket that will take up a load of space in my already crowded wardrobe…though I will make an exception when I find the parka. I picked up this Ralph Lauren workshirt, pictured above, for £36 at TK Maxx (despite the RRP of £600…). No, seriously. It’s warm, soft and it didn’t require a trip to Oxfam to clear closet space for it. Sorry, Oxfam.

Beard
Because facial hair is for life, not just for Movember.

Menswear winter essentials

Cable knit jumper
As well as being a completely classic look, I can also be sure that this won’t start my grandparents off again at Christmas dinner about how nobody dressed like that in their day. In retrospect, wearing a Black Dahlia Murder vest on Christmas Day was a poor decision. Anyway, I got mine at New Look. Ok, so it doesn’t have a little polo player on it, but it was only twenty quid. TWENTY QUID.

Doc Martens
Although they’re best known for big clompy boots, Dr Martens also make some beautiful (and hard wearing) shoes that can take anything from tramping city pavements to walking the dog in a rural snowstorm. Mine even came with a tin of wax to re-waterproof them. It’s only a matter of time before I have too much to drink and use said wax on my moustache.

Scarf
Ahh, my favourite scarf. Just thinking about it makes my neck warm. Not as warm as actually wearing it does, mind. I’m probably the pickiest person in the world when it comes to scarves; I don’t know whether it’s just me, but I find about 90% of scarves really scratchy. I got mine at Beyond Retro for the princely sum of five pounds. No wonder a friend posted this on my Facebook wall the other day, along with the comment ‘THIS IS YOU’ -

Ask Her Friends

badly wrapped present

I am, without a doubt, one of the worst people in the world when it comes to buying presents. Actually, scratch that. I’m one of the worst people in the world when it comes to milestones or landmarks of any kind. Seriously. In the past, I have:

  • Forgotten to wish my girlfriend happy birthday on her 21st because I was out drinking for three solid days.
  • Bailed on Valentine’s Day because I had a sore foot. The girl had spent all day baking me heart shaped cookies. (I have since apologised for being a terrible person.)
  • Regifted ALL of the things. If I’ve ever given you a present, it was probably given to me first. Sorry.

That’s why when someone told me about Ask Her Friends, I knew I had to try it. The concept? In a nutshell – you answer a few questions and the site suggests some presents that your girlfriend/mum/sister might like. You then send that list to her friends via Facebook/Twitter/email/carrier pigeon to get feedback. It all worked very well for the person I tested it on, but obviously I can’t share any info about that because it would ruin the surprise if she reads this post. SO, I decided to imagine I was a girl (wasn’t that hard…) and try it on myself. This is what AHF came up with -

askherfriends gift buying mood boardI’ll analyse the results one by one -

  1. Vintage 1950s prom dress – Girl Stu would totally wear this, and she’d look way hot in it.
  2. Aston Martin driving experience – I would drive the shit out of those cars. After buying some Louis Vuitton driving gloves.
  3. Salsa Dancing Workshop – My dancing would be so dirty the rest of the class would need a shower afterwards. So in.
  4. Handwoven Ayla Throw – The only people who like throws more than me are 74 year old women and tiny, shivery chihuahuas.
  5. Hunter Wellies – Already own these. Could use another pair.
  6. Pugs Might Fly Wall Art – PUGS MIGHT FLY. You know I love me some puns.
  7. Rian Tartan Cloth Backpack – I’m kinda tempted by this even without the hypothetical sex change.
  8. Ugg EarMuff Headphones – I’d definitely be the type of girl that gets cold ears. These are massively adorable.

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The person I’m worst at buying presents for? Myself. When people ask me what I want for Christmas or my birthday, my answer is inevitably a mumble or a shrug. To find eight items that I actually like (i.e. the above), even a little bit, in one go is a MASSIVE achievement. Which leads me to believe that the site is definitely onto something.

It’s less than a week until Christmas Day. Terrifying, right? Well, for the first time ever, I’m not scared. If you haven’t got presents sorted for everyone yet, I recommend you check out AHF!

Disclaimer – The team from Ask Her Friends sent me that vintage prom dress. I’m not sure I have the legs for it. But srsly, I was compensated. Less than that woman from the Ocean Finance advert with the Lego fringe though.